Happy New Year! Or not...

 I love New Year. For me it's the perfect time to re try and be the person I've always wanted to be.
 After reading some of the moans on Twitter, of people hating NYE and the concept of resolutions, I really couldn't believe it. I genuinely thought NYE was a time every one enjoyed, clearly I was drastically wrong!The main thing that bugged me was how people said that others who say that '2012 is my year' are just fools and will give up after a couple of days. What's wrong with a bit of hope? Why has every one become this moaning and miserable generation, who can't see any joy in anything? It baffles me to think that I am one of the few people who look forward to a new start. I don't see that it has to happen just at the beginning of the year but it's more of an incentive, as you have a new year and a new start. It could almost be like a re-birth, starting again, trying to be the best you could be.

I won't be limited and bogged down with putting other people, (who want to make a change), down. There really is no need for it and there's definitely no need to insult people who think like that. It's hard to say that everyone's perfect, as that is impossible. Yet, surely it's a good thing that some of us want to change and want to do our best. I have so many new resolutions and I know I won't achieve all of them but there's no harm in dreaming.

My resolutions, for this new year coming up, are:

• Lose weight
• Cut down my alcohol intake
• Be less aggressive
• Go back to college
• Sort my head out

  They're fairly simple and quite standard resolutions but for me they will all be life changing. I have finally found something that I can imagine doing for the rest of my life. I have found myself a career I really want to pursue and I really think I have a great shot at making it work. I want my own business so I am going to be getting all the training I possibly can.  I want to lose weight and cut down how much alcohol I drink, purely for health reasons. I have become a bit of a bloater and it's starting to get me down, (a lot). I think this might also be contributing to sorting my head out. I know diet has a massive importance with mental well being, so who knows, maybe I could be normal by the end of the year? I say normal very loosely, I know what's wrong with me and I know I need to do something about it. But it's not to talk about here. Being less aggressive comes with the sorting my head out. I find I'm getting so angry and fed up so quickly, but yet again, there is a reason.

 NYE can be pretty plop sometimes, especially when you're alone. Celebrating a new year alone is probably one of the worst things. Last year I was alone for the evening then with someone for 20 minutes then alone again. Because of this I got massively drunk and danced around my lounge all on my own. How tragic? Yes, completely. It made me realise though that I can be on my own and I don't need anyone else, albeit very, very sad!

Not only are my resolutions fairly standard, they are also achievable. So to all those who think resolutions and  New Year is a waste of time, you are entitled to an opinion, but please don't try and drag others down, just because we want to make a difference.

Hello?

Does anyone notice me? Know I'm here or care?

Red card to racism

Unbelievable.

  Now, I'm not a football fan, in fact, I don't really follow any type of sport, apart from the occasional glance at the Olympics when it's on. However, one news story that caught my attention was the Luis Suarez story. If you haven't heard it then please find it and give it a read. 

  This taken from the BBC Sport site is loosely what has happened:

'Suarez was handed an eight-game ban and £40,000 fine after he used "insulting words in reference to Manchester United defender Evra's colour".'

  

   I don't know whether the allegations made are true but if they are how are these the only actions being taken against Suarez? It is absolutely irrelevant who it is that has made these type of remarks, being that it could have been another football player or even someone participating in another sport. Yet, how is this a justified punishment if someone is 'guilty' of this? This is meant to be one of the 'hardest sanctions handed down in English Football' according to Alejandro Balbi, Luis Suarez' agent.

  It has been stated that Suarez earns £80,000 a week, so how does £40,000 make any difference to him, really? If this was any other situation for example, in an office environment, you could either be given a warning, or if said allegations proved to be true; fired.

  If people are so keen to stop racism in football why are those that commit these 'crimes' made a show of and completely removed from the game. Yet, surely that wouldn't happen it's all money after all.

Achievement

  
  It's a wonderful feeling knowing you've achieved. No matter how big or small it may be; getting good grades, getting a new job or helping someone out. Everything counts in the end, all the little things add up to making you feel good and that's really important.


  I've achieved lots in my life, when I look back, but this year feels like I've done the most. I got rid of two jobs that were making me miserable (and am very close to getting a new one), I made new friends (and kept them), I stopped being a social recluse, I got rid of 'rubbish' friends and I held down a relationship (not that I'm some kind of hussy!)


  I have become more liberated over this last year than I ever thought possible for me. I am in the longest relationship I've ever been in, with talks of marriage and our own home! This is ever so exciting for little, old me, considering I am very traditional deep down! I've met some superb people who have really turned my world around. I have found people I have shared interests with and who are just generally beautiful. After getting rid of the leeches that I once called 'friends' I've suddenly found that I was stuck in a rut with people who really didn't care about me. I am meeting people of all ages who are genuinely some of the greatest people I've ever spent time with.

  It may seem like some days you haven't achieved anything but really you have without even realising it. It could have been something you said to someone that made them smile or just the fact you put the washing on. Achievement doesn't have to be bold but if it can give you the drive to continue achieving then it's all good! 


  So, get up! Get out! And start changing your world!

Photogenic reject

  Sadly, I wasn't blessed with the face of a goddess, or the body, come to think of it. I've got my wobbly bits and other hang ups but generally, I think I can scrub up well; until I am in front of a camera. 
  
  What is it with the flash of the bulb that suddenly turns me in to a quivering wreck? I end up pulling God awful faces and my body looks contorted! Some people are just natural in front of a camera, I am more like some self-conscious, genetic throw back that has appeared from the depths. It isn't pretty, trust me.
  
  I went for the photo shoot with my partner and needless to say I actually enjoyed it. Our photographer, Jane, put me at ease instantly. Making me laugh and showing me how to take the best photos. It was fun which was the most surprising part of it all. I didn't feel nervous, I began to almost pose. ("Head down, eyes up. Show me the whites of your eyes Hannah!") A week later we were invited to a little pre-Christmas shindig at her studio and seeing as there was free wine and mince pies, we had to go! After a few glasses of vino we decided to look at the photos that were taken. Oh my God. It is very apparent that I will never get on Britain's Top Model! Some were truly atrocious yet others were lovely. My partner and I sitting back to back and turning to one other, smiling was my favourites, whereas, one of my 'serious' shots looked like I was about to go on some murderous rampage. 


  A photo is a memory. If you were happy and enjoying yourself, who cares what you look like? After all, you only live once.

Maybe it's time to go

    Sometimes I sit here and wonder why I'm still here. Why didn't I take the chance to leave, to move on and maybe go somewhere better? Then, I look back on why I didn't leave and I'm glad. If I had gone I would never of had the life experience I have gained by staying. Through most of it it seems that I didn't go because of relationships. I've never been someone who thought a man/woman would determine what I do with life, yet for some reason, it happened and I suspect, will do, for ever more. Is that a bad thing? Am I always going to be this loving, where I'd give up my life and dreams for someone else? I think it might.

  Now for some people, they see me as head strong, determined, out going, fierce but in reality I'm a right soppy mare who can't bear the thought of being alone. Maybe now is the time I start taking risks...

  I want an adventure. I want to disappear and explore the world. I want to be free, yet it always seems unattainable. I can't just leave. I have no money, no friends anywhere I could go to, I would be lost and alone. My biggest fear. Yet I came to think that sometimes in life it's all about the fear. We should just leap into the deep end and then face the consequences; not caring of what happens as long as you are happy. Life is full of lessons and I think if I've learnt anything, it's be who you want to be. Live your life making yourself happy. Of course, don't be so selfish that you cut everyone important out of your life and end up being unable to sustain a relationship, but make sure you feel complete for as much of your life as you can.

  I know sometimes I don't and it's really all my fault. 

  Looking at my life, I'm happy, not fully complete, but happy.

  

Are you blind?

  I'm not entirely sure what went through his mind but seriously?

  I don't quite remember agreeing to having a professional photo shoot. In fact, I'm pretty sure I refused hands down and said I can't think of anything worse.

  Despite my previous blog about loving oneself, that does not mean I want to be in front of a camera with someone taking horrific photos of my disgrace of a face. No thanks.

  

  So next Saturday I am being dragged to have my photos taken with my partner. Lovely if I was photogenic, yet this is my worst nightmare.

Wish I wasn't me

  There used to be days when all I wanted to do was jump out of my life and into someone elses. I used to cry myself to sleep I was so unhappy with who I was. If someone had told me all those years ago, that at the grand age of 22, I'd look back and laugh, I wouldn't have believed them.

  Yet here I am, happier than ever. If I could ever give anyone any advice, it was always be: 'It may seem like crap now, but it is going to get so much better.'


   Being skinny always seemed to plague me. I was never over weight or anything but I always felt so disgusting in comparison to my peers, which now, seems ridiculous. When I go out I dress how I want, I look how I want. Big hair, big make up and clothes that I love. I wouldn't have it any other way now. Just the thought of looking like everyone else makes me feel wrong! When I go out into town for a night out, it stuns me how much everyone looks alike; all in their tarty, short dresses and tits out. Yawn. Come on ladies, surely there's more to you than that?! (No, i don't really believe that either!) I like experimenting with different looks. I may go out in a typically 'normal' dress but I'll make sure I have big eye make up or big back combed hair. I get more compliments for being unique than anything else and that means so much more to me!


  So if you're ever feeling down about how you look or who you are, then experiment, look for inspiration around you. Just remember to ignore any grief people may give you, because, after all, they're only jealous.
  

Changing your mind as much as your undies

   I don't know how I do it. Every day I seem to feel differently about a decision I've made. Right now, it seems mainly to be about my career. I started caring 6 months ago thinking it was the job for me, that I wanted this as a full career. I'd planned to have my own palliative care home, looking after patients coping with cancer. Now, I can't seem to think of anything I'd rather do less.

  For some people deciding on a job they want is easy. They've always known, they took the courses, went to uni and are now going for it. Yet, I am sitting here, still in Eastbourne, with no clue as to what I want. I've flitted through so many different options; air stewardess, hairdresser, make up artist, carer, nurse, fashion designer, boutique owner, writer, actress, singer. The list is pretty much endless. Surely there is nothing wrong with a bit of ambition but why can't I decide?

  Even when I was little I was always pretending to be different things. One minute I was arresting my younger sister and putting her in prison then the next minute I am fixing a broken leg. Maybe I am stuck in that child-like mentality thinking that I can just be what I want but reality is soon catching up. 

  Is it time for me to grow up and choose or shall I stick to my guns and be free with my choices? I don't want to be stuck in a rut and working all day in a job I can't stand. 

   So here I go, out into the unknown. After losing my job on Monday for being ill I am back on the unemployment line fighting with thousands of others for one job. Ridiculous. No matter how much you try jobs seem so unattainable. Everything demands experience yet how are you to gain experience if they won't give you the opportunity to work? It seems stupid to me and I most definitely don't agree that Uni can get you further in life. Granted, it depends what you want to do, but I can still be successful without spending three years,  accumulating a huge amount of debt and being given a piece of paper, just to make some money. There are plans already in the pipeline for me, so fingers crossed this will go well for me. Trust me, I am going to work my ass off for this opportunity!

  But all said and done atleast I can go back to caring for the time being...

  

  

 

It happened

  I thought there would be a really good chance that I'd be able to avoid it or forget it, but sadly that didn't happen.

  I turned 22 yesterday.
 
  Does this mean I am now old? According to some people, yes; to others, no. The latter I like a lot! I don't feel any different, I thought I'd suddenly feel like a proper adult but I am still a child at heart and that is something I don't ever want to change.
  I was treated to some sensational gifts, such as a huge bouquet of flowers which are smelling absolutely devine.

 So along with flowers I got some yummy Armani perfume! My family got me some gorgeous eye shadows, a cute polka dot dress and a passport!

  It'll be so lovely to have the option of going away somewhere without being so restricted and stuck here all the time!

  So despite getting older I had a wonderful birthday weekend...

Another weekend

  It's surprising how much I actually look forward to the weekend now! It's like being back at school again when you used to count down the days... I've now gone back to that but I'm working. Ugh work. Getting so fed up with it to be honest. It would be a dream come true when I can just earn my money through writing or selling random photos I've taken. That would be marvellous, but there we go, it's only a dream. I guess if you work hard enough for something you can eventually get it, but I don't think that's always the case for everyone. Some people don't have the opportunity or support to go further.
  Today I am not entirely sure what I'm doing. There's a fun day up the road but to be honest I'm happy sitting in with the fella eating, drinking, playing cards and watching silly tv. I can't believe the summer's over...not that we've had much of one but it's picking up now.

  I'm 22 in just over a month. I'm feeling old... I may just go and cry....
haha
Case

Apologies!

  Well guys I have to say a massive sorry for not blogging in such a long time! As you can see from my previous blog I have now become a carer which has left me with virtually any time to myself so blogging has become difficult! Nevertheless I am here now!

  So lots of stuff has been going on...not only my usual drunken states but also a lot of work and a new flat!

  To make life easier for everyone lol I will update you all bit by bit...so here we go....

 

Being a carer

  So, on the 16th May I became a care worker. It was a brand new job I never expected to enjoy but good God I love it!
  I was dreading the usual expectations people seem to have of the role such as: wiping bums and cleaning old people's parts, but to be honest, it's so much more than that!
  I have already built up a huge rapport with so many of my different clients that I visit, I now feel as though I am part of their lives, helping them, supporting them and providing the with a comfortable and relaxed service. It's not all dirty jobs! On some calls I am lucky enough to sit down and have a chat, a cup of tea or to do a bit of housework. I am able to speak to a variety of different people and to hear about their lives.
  There is a small percentage of people that I see that are going through some harrowing conditions and to be part of a network of people trying to provide that person with comfort and peace on their slow depature, is such an amazing feeling.
  This is the first job where I have felt as though I am making a difference. I feel as though I am helping someone to lead an easier life. It is truly a humbling experience. I am lucky to be able to meet new people, of all ages, and to actually care. I thought I would have to put on an act, almost, to get on with the job, but I have definitely begun to get feelings for each person.
  It's hard not to get attached, especially when you are, at times, spending such intimate moments together. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have someone you don't know coming in to your house to wash you; but I feel as though I can put people at ease and allow them to relax around me.
  I have become so much more cheerful. I feel as though I am doing numerous good deeds each day despite being paid to do it. I end up staying a bit longer at people's homes just to hear their stories or make them feel less isolated and alone. I love it.
  The hours are tough and considering that I am working 6days a week, it's tiring. Yet the overwhelming sense of achievement and pride I have in my work, makes it so worthwhile.

  If you are looking for a new career or just need a change I would definitely recommend going in to care. It is the most rewarding and genuine job you can apply for. If you don't enjoy it, or don't think you will, then you may be surprised because I felt exactly the same! Try it, it's changed my outlook on life entirely and it could do the same for you.

Love and hugs,
Case

Sebastian James

I would like to introduce the world to my gorgeous nephew Sebastian! He is the new addition to the family and he is an absolute beauty! I am a very proud aunty!

It's been a while!

So my apologies go out to you for my lack of blogging but I've had a bit of time out!
I've managed to get myself a job! Care worker starting my training on the 9th May. Very excited about getting back into work and earning again. Has been tough not having anything for myself! Apparently I did really well on the short test I had to pass to be accepted which is great. Just as the lady said, it's great that I've got a good understanding of procedures despite never doing the job before! So that made me very happy.

Royal wedding madness has now been going on for weeks! Yet we are here now a day before and the hype is overwhelming! I'm not very pro-royal yet me and the fella will be attending a picnic in the park just up from where we live! Fingers crossed for the weather or it's going go be rubbish! Lots of drink, food and photos I think!

Anyway albeit short that's me done for now! Royal wedding party updates and other random blogging re: the job coming up shortly!
Whatever you're doing this long weekend, have a great one!
Love and hugs,
Case

Sun sunny sun sun

  Gorgeous week so far in sunny old Sussex!
 Have been lapping it up in the garden and whilst walking the dog!

  So turns out this week that I am on dog sitting duty. Fun times, I hear you cry! Well, quite. So far it has consisted of feeding and walking. He isn't one of these dogs you can play fetch with or anything. He just reclines on his bed and then sleeps. Pretty dull if you ask me!

  I've taken him in the woods twice and nearly decapitated him yesterday. To be honest he shouldn't try to eat wasps so it was his own fault! I thought I'd do my parents a favour and water the garden for them, seeing as it's been so warm. I plugged the hose into the outside tap and off I went. I didn't bat an eyelid to the leaking tap because it normally does that but when the water came gushing out faster than I could stop it; I decided to get the watering can! Absolutely soaked. Then to top it off I walked through all the mud the dog had dug up on the path; so I was wet and muddy. Great combination.

  Seeing as the sun has been out I thought I'd be sensible and wear sun screen. I got a bottle out of the cupboard and sprayed myself liberally with it covering my entire body, only to realise that it was spray tan. Brilliant. I now have an orange tinge to my skin.

  Ah well I don't feel too bad, there are plenty of people who go out looking like that deliberately! Mmmm gorgeous!


  Anyway, back home tomorrow which will be nice. Can't wait to sleep in my own bed again. As much as I love being in Crowhurst, it's quite lonely just being here with the dog!

  So on that note,
Love and hugs,
Case

Responsibility

  This is a subject that has always baffled me. Sex and Alcohol.

  The laws regarding these two things are, to me, very confusing. For example:
Having sex-
'In the UK and Jersey the age of consent is 16 years old for everyone, whether they want to have sex with someone of the same or opposite sex.' (Taken from www.brook.org.uk)
Drinking alcohol-
'Under 16s
 

Children under 16 can go anywhere in a pub as long as they are supervised by an adult, but cannot have any alcoholic drinks.
However, some premises may be subject to licensing conditions preventing them from entering, such as pubs which have experienced problems with underage drinking.

16 or 17 years old

Young people aged 16 or 17 can drink beer, wine or cider with a meal if it is bought by an adult and they are accompanied by an adult. It is illegal for this age group to drink spirits in pubs even with a meal.
In Scotland, 16 and 17 year olds can buy beer, wine or cider so long as it's served with a meal and consumed in an area used solely for eating meals.

Under 18 years old

It is against the law for anyone under 18 to buy alcohol in a pub, off-licence, supermarket, or other outlet, or for anyone to buy alcohol for someone under 18 to consume in a pub or a public place.
Some towns and cities have local by-laws banning drinking alcohol in public.' (Taken from http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/)

Who decided that it was okay for someone at the age of 16 to be able to bring a life into this world yet are unable to buy alcohol? Surely both are, in ways, as bad as each other.
 Bringing a child into the world is a huge undertaking and I don't believe it should ever be considered lightly. Yet having a child whilst you are still classified a child in the eyes of the law baffles me.
I believe that the law on sex should be the same age as the buying alcohol law.

  The laws are outdated. Teenage pregnancy is high as is binge drinking. There needs to be a higher level of information given to school students about both subjects. I appreciate that these have been boosted recently but to try and explain that it's okay at 16 to have babies but you can't have a pint down the pub is ridiculous.

It's hard to go into a huge amount of detail without waffling on, but that's my overview on the subject. Does it scare anyone else that this is the state we live in?  Education people!

Case

It appears that boredom has struck

Your view on yourself: You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love: You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education: Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
The right job for you: You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
How do you view success: You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from
trying.
What are you most afraid of: You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Programmed Machinery

    I wrote this particular piece a while ago and only recently discovered it! It basically sums up how most lives are pre-determined and we should have the freedom to choose without guilt.




  We are born. Go to school. Take our exams. Go to college. Go to university. Get a job. Get married. Start a family. Grow old. Collect our pension. Die.
  Where's the break away? Our lives are pretty much laid before us from the moment of conception. Our parents have ideas about what they want us to do with our lives before we've even uttered our first word. We have the ability to choose a preferred job etc but what happened to our freedom? We don't need all of these qualifications to have a good life.we need them to get jobs, but is that really true? Why doesn't experience and passion have anything to do with it? I want to show how everything is pretty much pre-determined and how we should all,even in the smallest way,break out and have our freedom. Our own choice to do what we really want as opposed to what we are meant to want.
  Be free, express yourself and don't be afraid to live how you want.
Life should be an opportunity not a routine and I want to show that by finding something that captivates you, it can lead you onto whatever you want.
I am proof of that.
Tradition is past.become the present and future.


Why wait until tomorrow to change,why not today? Shouldn't you live for the moment,live for the thrill?
If you get an idea act upon it rather than watch it waste away. Life is far too short to be wondering 'what if?' what if I'd said this? What if I'd done things differently? Regrets are natural its in our nature but can't you see its better to have lived and tried,than to not have bothered at all?
Everyone goes through hard times, it's how we overcome and deal with them that makes us who we are. Don't forget your past but also don't live in it. You are the present and you will become the future.
Dare to be different. Dare to live. Dare to dream.
Work hard and do your best and if that isn't enough, then just remember, you gave it a go.
There is nothing to lose,only fear.

Treats!

So, I came back to my parent's whilst, yet again, waiting for fella to finish work and Daddy had made these bad boys...

Pink wafer biscuits covered in chocolate and marshmallows...random but GORGEOUS!
He seems to be getting into his sweet cooking...lol ah well I don't care, any excuse for sweet stuff and I'm there!

It's been a slightly disastrous wait for me tonight though, considering that whatever anti-virus software has been added to my laptop has officially slowed it down to the pace of the first ever computer-SLOW. Hoping that can be fixed tomorrow or I won't be a very happy bunny!

Opinionated

  This will seem more like a moan than anything but to be honest it does need to be addressed.

  Young girls. Now, I have blogged on this subject before but I’d like to look at it from a slightly different angle this time.

  Young women and girls are under a huge amount of pressure to conform to what is considered to be the ideal look. Despite great developments over recent years it still seems as though we are stuck in an image obsessed society. There is nothing wrong in taking an active interest to make yourself look and feel better about yourself; but surely when we are setting an example to pre teen children we are way off the mark? There are certain shops that are selling items of clothes, which in my opinion are far too provocative for the age range they are being aimed at. Push up bras and mini skirts are not appropriate for a seven year old at all; yet there are some parents who are quite happy to dress their children like this. What upsets me is little girls in heels. Sorry, but no. I understand if it is for dress up or maybe an occasion and they aren’t being paraded around, yet for day to day wear this is a disgrace. We are ageing these children before their time. Why aren’t they able to run around like children are meant to as opposed to becoming adolescent at eight years old?

  A few years ago I did a lot of research on the motives of anorexia and the expectations of youth beauty. Through my studies I found that even from babies and toddlers we are being labelled as certain things before we have even established our own identity. We are referred to as ‘cute’, ‘adorable’, ‘beautiful’ or ‘handsome’ and these words stay with us as we grow up. Perhaps, even from such a young age we are already being influenced, unintentionally, by those around us; perhaps parents are under a certain pressure to present their children in a way to compete with others of the same age. These are just suggestions and not definitive facts yet they are options to be considered. From being referred to at a young age with words that are defining us before we have blossomed, we can see how this trend continues through time. As a young woman we are sometimes referred to as ‘sexy’,  ‘stunning’ or ‘hot’. These words, although a little more sexual, are now are defining characteristics. There is the pressure to conform to this to be accepted with our peers. If a girl is referred to as ‘hot’ women instantly look at her to decide what they think. The majority of time the other girl is put down and women will find flaws in her looks to make themselves feel better. I think everyone is guilty of this and I will happily say I am one of them. Yet, I am beginning to make a conscious effort not to look at the exterior and judge, but to look beyond that and see what else they offer as people, not as objects.

  By labelling ourselves based on the way we look we are giving others the right to do the same to us. Everyone finds different looks attractive so how can anyone justify what is meant to be the ideal? Some people like those that are slightly chubby, others prefer very skinny. Some like tall, some like short. However, either way, it is personal choice and we shouldn’t have to change to fit any other preference. Being unique is the beauty of being human! We are so different and original to ourselves that this should be celebrated! Will there ever be a day when people are referred to for their achievements rather than their attributes? How refreshing that would be to be described as ‘the girl that writes a lot, has an opinion and has a sense of humour’ rather than ‘that girl that did performing arts at college with the big hair. Quite tall and used to have lots of piercings.’

  I’d love to see beautiful women with an opinion and self-respect representing the women of Britain rather than the provocative, boozy and cheap girls that are expected from other nations. There are a few breakthrough women that are finally making a name for themselves with their talent and originality. Hallelujah! These are the ones I will support.

  Women are scrutinized for obsessing over our looks yet there are plenty of men who do the same. Wishing they had a six-pack, muscled arms or were maybe more endowed elsewhere! It is an unfair part of life that unfortunately won’t ever go away, but it’d be nice to find just a select minority of people who agree with me, that this is not the way to go on. As long as you are true to yourself and stick to what you believe in then you are setting a standard to the pre-teen/teenagers of today who need that strong guidance.

  Our personalities are our main attribute. We are who we are. We are influenced by everything around us and by not looking at everything so narrow-minded we are able to have our own opinion on a whole host of subjects. What most don’t remember is that looks don’t last forever, no matter how much surgery you have!

  Please bear in mind that this is MY opinion and shouldn’t be taken offensively. I think that everyone has a right to be how they want to be, but I just believe it’s a shame to have to lose your dignity for it. Freedom of speech, look and creativity!

  Love and hugs,

Case

New job!

This morning has already been a success!
I left nice and early, knowing full well I wouldn't be able to park straight away and-shock!horror!- I couldn't find a space. After a cruise round I found a space but had an epic walk to the office. After my trek I arrived and very timidly went in! Me? Timid? I've gone back to how I used to be haha. I was sat down and the interview went so quickly.
"Have you done care work before?"
"No."
"What attracted you to the role?"
"I've got great people skills and feel I'd be able to provide a cheerful and efficient service."
"That's great! Are you able to pay for your CRB today?"
"No, but I'll be able to next week."
"Okay that's great. Give us a call when you can come in and we will start your training!"
And that was it! She photocopied my paperwork and off I went! Easy!
So I've got a job and I'm really chuffed! The pay is phenomenal and hours seem easy enough. I'm a very happy Case.



For the rest of the afternoon I am off to hunt for a prom dress for my little sister!I am feeling rather old- I remember looking for mine. I'm a little quirkier than my sister and got mine from a gorgeous boutique in Hastings. I went with my cousins and tried on every outfit they had in the shop! I was a lot slimmer back the. Ahh nostalgia! Haha but I'm much happier now!

So off I go, imparting my fashionista wisdom!
Have a great day!
Love and hugs,
Case

Another day

Good marning!
Another beautiful day in Eastbourne! Just a shame I'm waking up in Eastbourne to be honest, can't wait to move from here!

So my day consists of applying for care work. Joy! The last job I've ever wanted to do but to be honest there is nothing else going so I guess there's no harm in giving it a go for a while :) I'm quite a caring person, or so I like to think, so I think I could give it a good go! Money isn't too bad either so that's always a bonus!

Anyway all this talk of applying for jobs should surely be an incentive to go and do it!
Love and hugs,
Case

Can't wait for summer!

I've been a very lucky girl.today my fella took me down to the beach for wine and a BBQ. It was perfect. The sun was shining and the slight breeze took the edge of the heat.
It was so lovely to just enjoy the peace and quiet of the surroundings listening to the waves lapping the shore.

He has given me so much confidence. I'm now able to take all my clothes off without feeling fat or ugly!obviously not entirely naked but just down to underwear. This is such a massive achievement for me as before I'd always make sure I was covered up so no one could see me but now I don't feel I have to.I'm so grateful for what he's given me.

Albeit short and simple I must go and enjoy the rest of my perfect Sunday.

Happy 8 months Mr Betts :)
Love and hugs,
Case

Final thought for the night

Be who you want to be.



  There are no real rules in life just respect, love and appreciate.

  Dress the way you want, do your hair how you want, wear your make up how you like it. No one else has the right to judge you.

  By being yourself and being unique you will be remembered. Don't get stuck copying other people. It shows you're lacking individuality. Take tips and inspiration from people but don't become a clone. How boring would that be?!

Love life.

Jessie J

This is my homage to one extraordinary woman.

I first discovered Jessie J from her music video for 'Do it like a dude' I LOVED the track but hated her in the video. I thought she was just going to be another rubbish singer who had to act like a slag to promote her music. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt so I had a look on youtube. I heard her singing 'Who you are' boombox series and I was blown away. It was so refreshing to hear a talented and strong female making her way into the charts. She has a phenomenal voice no matter what anyone says and her presence is even greater.

I'm really pro-freedom of speech and I think that Jessie is definitely using her media status to promote fantastic things to the younger generation who look up to her. She stands up for being true to yourself and following the path you want in life and for that I salute her. It's finally happened! Someone that I can really agree is a good role model to young girls finding their way in life.

I don't normally praise pop artists quite this much but it's so great to finally find someone that even I can look up to. I feel inspired when I watch her perform and it makes me want to go on, work hard and do my best.

Not only is she a fantastic vocalist she wears some of the greatest outfits I've ever seen. It's such a laid back style but when she is on stage there are no boundaries. It's all about being confident in your own skin and feeling that it doesn't matter what you wear, who it's by, how much it cost; aslong as you feel good then it shouldn't matter. That is one of the mantras I have always lived by so it's great to see someone in a positin of 'power' spreading the word too.

So since I was 13 and I was last in love with a pop act (Westlife!) I have finally found someone else I adore.

Cycle lanes

Maybe it's just me but are cycle lanes causing anyone else any confusion?

Yes, this may seem like a dull thing to blog about but just think about it...

In Eastbourne, so I've noticed, cycle and pedestrian lanes are clearly marked out, or are they? If, for example the cycle lane is situated to the left of the pavement then how come when you come to the end has the cycle lane now appeared on the right hand side? Confusion. So if you are travelling from the opposite direction, the cycle lane is still on the left but conflicts with the pedestrians who have been indicated that the right of the lane is for them.

  

I really hope someone out there understands what I mean because it's getting me down :( hehe

Today :)

It's been one of those gorgeous days where the sun shines and everything seems amazing. To be honest everything IS amazing.

Walked down the seafront with fella all the way into town which is quite a mish! Loved it :) walking home was so windy though and I ended up taking my shoes off because of blisters! Sob sob.

Watching knocked up now. This film is awesome :) crack up.
Decided to do myself up for when I pick up the gorgeous fella. Hope he notices!
Love and hugs,
Case

How it should be done....then again....how not...

So this is how this style is meant to be pulled off but below is an example of what happens when it's done on someone that really doesn't suit it...

Hmmm....need I say more...

Head over heels

A memory is something we either treasure or try to discard. Some are joyous others are like painful scars we try to cover up, yet either way; we carry them with us forever. Life is full of experiences, opportunities, difficulties and miracles yet what we hold on to is what makes us who we are. The way we are able to cope with life’s challenges determines us as a person and if we are able to accept and move on then we can become stronger as individuals. The mind is a phenomenal piece of machinery. Grinding together images, words and emotions storing them in our mind for an eternity as memories.

                 

 

Something I will always carry with me is the day I fell in love.

 

  Love is a word that is thrown about so freely that at times it can lose it’s meaning. To love another is to give yourself wholly. As people we must love and lose to truly understand it’s grace and power. From crushing heartbreak comes a lesson. No matter what the cause of any relationship ending we can all learn from each experience to gain a better perspective on what we really want from another. After years of knowing one another from a distance, he was always the last person I ever expected to fall for, but here I am totally head over heels in love.

  After a variety of relationships, some short, some more serious, others completely dire, to those, which have brought me happiness, I am able to actually understand the power that love has. When you fall in love it’s like an awakening. You see the world in a different way, through different eyes. Everything seems to just fall in to place. I felt like my life had shifted when I fell in love, he had changed my priorities and made me see how everything can change within a second if you allow it. He inspires me in a way that it makes me want to be a better person. I can see myself achieving almost anything because I know I have him with me.

 For years I trudged through each day just ‘getting on with it’, not expecting anything incredible to happen but then one day, it did. It was so sudden, so unexpected but for someone like me, who never has any luck, this was amazing. We had known each other for a while, through work and other people, but never before had it occurred to me that he would be the one. How scary is it to say that? The One. 

  I always dreamt of the big wedding, having my own family, growing old with the man of my dreams. There are many people who think that life can’t be that simple, but I will always argue why not? Life is only made over complicated because we make it that way. To think that after all these years of failed relationships and heartbreak I would be sitting here writing about how one man has changed the way I look at life.

  He, in my eyes, has always been amazing. I don’t ever remember anyone having a bad word to say about him and that’s maybe why I never did anything about my feelings; I liked bad boys. They are never worth the hassle, as I’ve found out through experience. I always thought being treated like crap was how it was meant to be, as though it was a standard. I’d gotten so used to having people mess me around I didn’t think or believe I deserved to be happy.

  I only saw him a couple of times a week and it would never be more than a ‘Hi. How are you?’ but I always thought there was something about him, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

  Back in the day he was with a girl, they looked really good together and I was always jealous of her. She was tall, pretty and popular. They always seemed really happy but I did used to wonder to myself when they used to walk past why he went for her. Her history and attitude is something I will never understand. I guess it’s the same as going for bad boys, you always think you can change them and they’ll love you. Deep down though you know that will never happen.

 

    I am now at a point in my life where I feel grounded, confident in my own skin, as though I can do anything. This has come after a lot of soul searching, loss, loneliness and struggle but it’s here now. Life and love lessons are those to be cherished and enjoyed, for without them, we would be mere soulless shells.

Always in my mind, forever in my heart.

Pyjama Party

There appears to be a trend emerging that seems to have taken over a small population of young women down here in the southeast of England. Ranging in colour and cut it has become a new statement for laid back chic. A new style to kick the idea of dressing up and glamour into shape. Underwear as outerwear? Yes! A style that could be transported from ladylike and charming, to sexy and seductive within seconds, but pyjamas as evening wear? I am sorry if I offend anyone out there but seriously? Going out in childlike teddy pjs with full make up and perfectly coiffed hair baffles me. I have never known the logic in putting in all that effort for half of a finished look. I appreciate this only ever occurs when popping down the local shop to pick up late night goodies for a night in but even so, the energy put in resulting in only part of a finished look seems pointless.

  Laid back chic is something of an illusive style to grasp. It’s difficult to look relaxed and as though little effort has gone into your finished ensemble, without ending up looking like you’ve got dressed in the dark. Getting the gracefully delicate fabrics to caress your body as though they were just thrown on is an art in itself, yet there is no excuse to give up so easily. All it takes is a comfy pair of trousers or even more simply, a pair of jeans. Team those with a cute t-shirt and your UGG’s, and you’re sorted. Simple as that. No real effort involved and you are able to maintain that elegant dressed down appearance. Every day doesn’t have to be an overly glamorous affair with ball gowns and big hair, yet you should still feel as amazing as you would if it was.

  Fashion is all about expression and imagination. It is almost an instinct that we all possess to make ourselves the best we can be. It can inspire and excite anyone from any walk of life, if you can open up your mind to any possibility then I think you have the opportunity to experience fashion for what it truly is. The industry is full of opinion and there will always be a divide between people on what is acceptable and what isn’t. Unfortunately, I will never be able to condone pyjama wearing as a stable and suitable trend.

  Pyjamas are wonderfully comfortable for those cold, winter nights when you want to snuggle up on the sofa with a hot chocolate and duvet. They supply us with all variations of pattern, cut and shape, and are ideal for lounging about the house. To wear your pyjama bottoms out of the house makes it seem as though you have just forgotten to get fully dressed, or you’ve just rolled out of bed and you’re too lazy to slip on anything else. More than likely, the latter is very true. It’s when I go to my local supermarket late at night and see groups of girls out together in some sort of pyjama like cult scouring the shelves that I begin to wonder; could I get away with it?

  So one Tuesday night I did just that. Braving the elements of the cold, late January night I slipped on a pair of my favourite, lazy girl pyjama bottoms, a t-shirt, thick scarf and slouchy boots. I decided on my 'i heart N.Y' trousers just because I felt safe in the knowledge that unlike my silky polka dot bottoms, they weren’t going to fall down around my ankles at any given moment. So, all suited and booted, almost, hair and make up done, I ventured out. I drove up to my local shop and must have sat outside for a good ten minutes mustering up the courage to get out of the car. How ridiculous! I shouldn’t care what I look like; after all, plenty of girls go out looking like this. Well that’s what I repeated to myself as reassurance at the time! Out I got, out of the car and hurriedly went into the shop. (Let me point out, it was bloody cold and I didn’t intend on catching my death just for a simple experiment!)

            It wasn’t too busy inside but there were a few couples and groups of friends pottering about the aisles. I decided to head for my comfort zone and have a look at the magazines in the hope that no one would be over there and I could build the confidence to go the whole hog and walk out in the open without scurrying by and hiding. Little was I aware, but three members of staff were filling the shelves just behind my magazine rack. Brilliant. They looked over at me as I tried to casually flick through the several articles featured in whatever it was I had picked up. I felt their eyes burning into my back and I’m sure I definitely heard a snigger! Paranoia had started to take over so I moved on to take in the small array of clothes they offered. It made a good start. I was able to bring my embarrassed cheeks back to a more controlled colour; stomach in, shoulders back and head held high and off I went. Strutting is probably the only way to describe it! I thought if I am going to do this I may as well pretend I’ve been blessed with supermodel good looks and can give off an air of self-confidence and grace.

  Yes, people stared and looked me up and down. Yet, it wasn’t as horrifying as I thought it was going to be. After initial glances I was pretty much blanked which in a way annoyed me slightly. Could these people not see the effort I had put in to my clothes selection? Oh no wait, I hadn’t. Feeling a little disgruntled that I wasn’t getting the same amount of attention that I had expected I left the shop and got home feeling slightly more at ease with my clothing choice. Did I feel any clearer on why these girls dressed like this? No. If anything it left me even further away from understanding their logic. Had I learnt anything I could take away with me? Yes. Don’t wear barely any clothes, especially not pyjama bottoms on a freezing cold January night. I clearly don’t have the bravery for that.

  Whether you are for or against the pyjama craze that has swept the sunny southeast, remember this; as long as you are happy with your choices and they don’t harm anyone else, then go ahead. But if you’re going to wear pyjama bottoms out, please bare in mind, you are a respectable adult. I don’t think anymore needs to be said!

   Hugs and happy thoughts.

Case

Ladies!

I have always been brought up to appreciate what I have got and at times like these I am very grateful.

  I am proud of who I am and what I’ve become over the years. I feel blessed that I am not one of these girls that have to go out looking like a prostitute to get male attention. Why would anyone do that? Sure, most men, it seems, are driven by one thing, yet there are some out there who aren’t just interested in that. What happened to women being proud of themselves and having a little self-respect? No wonder there is this constant pressure of women to ‘fit the ideal’ but can’t we break away from that? We are so used to being bombarded by little tarts on a night out that the rest of us are made to feel inferior. Dressing up for a laugh i.e. Hen parties I can understand, but actually thinking that the only way to ‘pull’ is ridiculous.

  If a man can’t see how wonderful you are as a person without having to look up your tiny skirt then he isn’t worth knowing. Yet, saying that, the impression you’re giving out says a lot about you even though that may not be accurate.

  Of course, as humans, it isn’t the personality you’re first attracted to, as you can’t tell what a person is like just by looking at them. However I think the confidence a person gives off is most attractive. I’m not talking about the arrogant idiot standing by the bar; I’m talking about someone who looks happy, approachable and interesting. I love the sort of people that stand about pouting as if they’re models…trust me darlin’, you aren’t all that!

 

  I’m happy not being really slim and just being a regular girl. I’m proud that I have my own opinions, beliefs and aspirations. My confidence was knocked a lot when I was younger but I find I’m happiest when I’m taken a step back just to sit and appreciate. I have been born in one of the most stunning places in the country and I am lucky to be able to live, still, close by to beautiful places. I think if I didn’t have opportunities to ground myself, I’d be very lost indeed.

  I have my own mind and I will stick to what I believe. I have a very few select friends who I see rarely but they have never messed me around. I’m tired of being labelled and expected to be a certain way just because of my age, but I think, in some respects, I’ve matured quite quickly.

 

  I never want to be seen as some slapper that goes out parading myself for that reassurance from a man. It just goes to show how insecure a person is and how they are choosing the wrong type of man. Obviously, in life, there are some people that are quite happy to go about like that and good luck to them! Yet this goes out to all the women, and men, who value themselves higher than to degrade themselves for the benefit of the opposite sex. I salute you! I’d rather die knowing I’ve valued myself and my life and not ended up with a reputation which most, my age seem to be getting.

  I’m a nice girl with a good heart and I’ve been given the chance to spend my life with a man who loves me, for who I am. He has the same outlook as me and is aware of real beauty not artificial, high maintenance looks. What more could I really want?

Yawn

I am tired.
Not a little bit.
Not slightly.
Epically.

The thought of going in to work tomorrow is something I am not looking forward to considering I will be up all night til 4am waiting for the fella to finish work :/ not happy, however, he pays my fuel costs so I shouldn't complain.

So usually, I wouldn't mind sitting here all night writing and chatting to people but today I have about as much enthusiasm to do that as a lamb to the slaughter. I can't even think of anything entertaining to say...granted that doesn't make that much of a change. haha.

I want money. Lots of money. Just like everyone else on this planet but to be quite honest I think I deserve a bit of luck. Just something to tidy me over, sort me out. That's all I ask, rather than having to drive my car on the red the whole time. Gets me down sometimes. Ah well I've been poor now for years, no point moaning about it now.

So I've been looking for a job....still...nothing.
I'm thinking I may have to go down the caring route-(Shoot me now!) Just to bring in some monies. Even if it's only part time. Gets me out. Gets me earning and I guess it shows other employers that I have taken up work despite the lack of it. A bit of initiative. I didn't just sit about I got a new job quickly even though it isn't something I want to do. People skills. Yeh, that's what people want. Apparently. HA. Yeah explain this to me.... 'Experience preferred', commonly found on job adverts yet how are we meant to get experience if we aren't given the opportunity to do the job? Ermmm go figure.
FOOLS THE LOT OF THEM!!!

I need a drink. I feel sick.
Yes, you'd be right in assuming this evening is going so well for me so far.
Love and hugs,
Case

Gooood marning!

First off, I hate blogging whilst using my phone-too slow and annoying haha.
Anyway, Gooood marning!
I wanna try wing walking! I'm watching daybreak and Christine blakely doing it-looks awesome.

So finally Friday, not that it makes much difference to me! Work tomorrow and Sunday which will be nice although the weather is going to be amazing :/ ah well I'm getting to enjoy it today!

This is a crap blog, I apologise. I'll sort it out for later!
Love and hugs,
Case

Kylie

It has come to my attention that I have a HUGE obsession with Kylie. Currently dancing around the living room to her is now distracting me from the task in hand...rambling on in a blog no one cares about. Yessir my life has hit an all time low. Haha. Although Deadmau5 has come on my Ipod so I'm a happy bunny.

The sun is out again and it's a gorgeous day. I decided on big hair today so I look like a cross between someone who has been dragged through a hedge backwards and an afro loving queen. It's exceptional. Although the wind ruins it and makes me look as though I'm a mad professor, but hey, what can you do?

I was reading a friend's blog earlier and I was like WTF! I can't believe good people get screwed over so much. Granted, without sounding my own trumpet, I am a good person and I've been screwed over. Maybe we are just too nice? Yet if we stand up for ourselves or act slightly more selfishly people think we are arses. You just can't damn well win! Ah well, what I'd say is be who you want to be and fuck everyone else. I've managed to cut out all the dregs/friends who were bringing me down and yeah I may not be inundated with invites out and stuff to do but atleast I'm happy. I'm no longer being messed around by people who only care about themselves and sod to anyone else's feelings. I don't need that and anyway I've become a better person from it.

I've been on quite a mission this last hour...trying to get InlineMedia's friends up on Twitter. Proving harder than expected! Oh well, keep battling on I guess, gotta earn my keep somehow.

Anyway, I'm boring.
Love and hugs,
Case