I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, especially not nowadays but sometimes I really wonder whether I'm good enough. Living here surrounded by skanky women with no dignity makes me question if this is something I should be doing to get attention? Luckily I am in a very happy relationship with a wonderful man but sometimes I do wonder if I deserve it.
Looking around on a night out in this town you begin to notice all the little tarts that have crawled from their pits. Ugh. Some are hilarious because they just look so bad but some look like the type of girls you'd find in a lads magazine. For me, there isn't anything worse than trying to fit the 'ideal' that a magazine may portray. I love the fact I'm tall, a little quirky and have big hair. I'd hate to look like a plastic doll like everyone else. I don't need big tits to make an impression.
I was out the other night and two 'dolls' came in. They were hilarious 1) Because they couldn't use their camera but 2)because they couldn't walk in their heels. If you can't walk in them all night, don't wear them at all. These girls were all dressed up, lots of make up with immaculate hair. I was lucky enough to be called over to them. Me? With my big, back-combed hair, brogue type shoes and quirky dress? I must look like a photography student or something. As I got closer I was hoping I'd be surprised with a very well spoken, intelligent and interesting conversation; I wasn't. It consisted of 'babes can you take a photo of us, but make sure it's like full length so peeps can see our outfits.' -hmmm- Now, being a club photographer I'm used to it but this was far too good. I know how to adapt to people and how they are to make them feel comfortable, in this situation I didn't. 'Sure dude, do you want the flash on?' -hmm- After a photo the girl couldn't establish whether the camera had actually flashed. (Face palm) Surely you could see?! I told her it wasn't turned on and explained how to but unfortunately she didn't believe me.
The moral of this story is never to judge, which I admit, I did at first. I saw them and uttered Barbie, then decided to give the benefit of the doubt, only to be unsurprisingly proved right the first time. If women are going to act like this and become some cult like organisation of plastic, unoriginal people, then I want nothing to do with it. There will always be lots of girls like that but then everyone I know has personality and uniqueness. I love them all.
So maybe I shouldn't be jealous of other people for all fitting in to a mould. I should embrace my life and be proud of who I am. After all, if I'm with a guy who decides to leave me for some other tart then I know I'm the better one. I didn't change.
Love x
P.S I'd like to point out I know full well that my partner would never cheat on me! He, unlike some, has standards ;)
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