I think we've all done it. Just blurting stuff out rather than keeping it to ourselves; which sometimes works out for the better.
I have had plenty of experience of 'putting my foot in it'. I think it will always be something I do. I don't mean to though; well not all the time. I can't even begin to count the amount of times I have said something and then realised how inappropriate it is. For example, last weekend two of my friends came in. They had broken up a few weeks ago and had decided to patch it up. The fella told me it was their 1 year anniversary soon and I proceeded to say 'Haven't you had enough of her yet?' Only to remember that actually yes they had both had enough of one another, but were now trying to make it work. Ugh. That was a face palm moment. It may not be one of the worst times I've said something silly but in hindsight it probably wasn't one of my most supportive moments. (I did apologise to the bloke after, when the girl had wandered off and he didn't seem to fazed...)
Usually the only good thing about blurting out things is that they're actually the truth. Not always, granted. Sometimes in an argument the heat of the moment can take over and you just try and point score. One thing I have stopped doing.(I hope.) It's like they say, that when you're drunk you're more honest. I guess this is also the case for speaking out. When your brain and mouth fall out it can end up punishing some innocent bystander. I love honesty. It's one of my favourite traits in people but I also hate really rude people. There are some on this planet who don't suffer from 'blurt-itus' they just suffer from rudeness. The type of person that will be blatantly rude just for effect. Go away if you are one of them. I will say what I think and in some occasions I will regret my choice of phrasing but I can't imagine how it feels to be so ruthless and to not even care. There's a difference between accidentally letting something slip; like telling your friend she looks like a tart then trying to back peddle. Done that plenty of times.
Blurting is fine if you are able to save the situation. Make it out to be a joke or even quickly think of another way of phrasing it so it doesn't sound so nasty. Then there are times when actually one small comment can be taken way out of context and turned in to turf war. Revert back to previous comment of calling a friend a tart.
Mouth says: "You look like a right old tart!"
Brain screams: "Nooooo! I meant it looks good but you're showing off more than usual!"
To be fair, most of the time, you can't win.
I choose freedom of speech. If I say something inappropriate to you, either:
1) It will be in jest;
2) I've phrased it wrong or;
3) You are a dirty tramp and I don't really like you.
Usually it will be the top 2, however beware!
Sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind but under no circumstances should you ever do it to hurt someone intentionally. There are ways of trying to say something without being offensive. I like people with opinions and an honest nature. Maybe we should all try our best to not blurt stuff out, especially the important things, but never lie to those you love. It will come back and bite you on the bum! If you have something to say, then say it! Just don't forget you might be hurting someone.
I will continue to blurt things out and seem a bit catty. That will never be anything I want to change. However, I will start trying to think before I speak.
And, as my mumma would say, 'If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say it at all.' But then, I've never done what my mum has told me! ;]
It was Saturday night and I thought it was going to be like every other one. I most certainly wasn't expecting to get a response to a blog post I put up! I never expect anyone to actually read it, as far as I'm concerned, I just ramble on to no one. I was very wrong.
I mentioned about how us ladies must stick together and not let any guy split us. Whilst I was writing it, I did think of this situation but once I'd gotten on to a roll I completely neglected to write about it.
I was asked what I thought if a guy says he has no girlfriend, sleeps with you and then you find out he does. Here is my answer.
Okay, so we can agree that some times men don't always tell us the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth; however, some of us girls aren't much better! I have never been in that position and I can't really understand how it must feel. I guess the only way to deal with it is...you can't. It will always be one of those parts of life that will happen to a select few of us and we won't be able to do much about it.
I think that the majority of guys have lost the art of chivalry. What happened to dating then becoming an item? As opposed to a quick fumble in a nightclub! Yeah, okay, maybe a bit of an exaggeration but you know what I mean though. Some girls just put out to anyone and maybe that's why, on occasion, you may not find out if they have a missus at home. Yet this is such a small amount of girls that it just isn't fair that the decent ones end up being treated like this!
It's a tough one to try and determine how to deal with it I guess.
What would you do? I think if it had happened to me, as much as it would hurt the other person, I'd probably tell the other girl. Just out of respect. Especially if she's sat at home waiting for him to come home, when in actual fact, he's lying to everyone and playing away. It isn't just you that gets hurt. It's also that poor girl sat at home thinking he loves her, which clearly he doesn't.
Looking at it, there isn't really much you can do. (I totally realise that this isn't what you want to hear!) I guess, just trust your instincts. If you think something's odd about the situation then don't go there! If you end up going too far and then find out, think how it would feel if it were happening to you and whether you'd want to know or not. Get to know the guy, make sure you feel like he can be trusted and take your time. There's no need to rush anything surely? We all make mistakes and some of us learn but if he's a serial cheat, make sure you're girl friends give him a wide berth because no one likes a dirty, little liar.
This blog is aimed at girls all over the world. We are part of what is known as 'The Sisterhood'. A united front of women sticking together. So what happened to that? Where did that all go that it became socially acceptable to either ditch your friends for a guy, ditch you for one of your exes or even cheat with someone who has a missus? To be honest, there is no reason that any of these should be acceptable.
An old friend of mine broke 'The Sisterhood' when she ditched me to spend time with my ex. Okay, it sounds pretty bad but I will just point out that said friend didn't start dating my ex but she did suddenly become very good friends with him, rather than support me. As you may have guessed, she is no longer what I'd class as a friend. After all those years together, I helped her grow as a person, I helped her through some really rough times and that's the thanks I get. That hurt me pretty hard. I never thought someone I had trusted with all those teary chats about him would suddenly amount to her leaving me for him! I've worked out why they became good friends, simply, because of 'weed'. That's another topic all together but let's just say it doesn't make me happy at all.
As I get older I realise that settling down with a partner is tough work but I still know that I must take time to be with friends. Unfortunately, my unemployment and situation has meant that I haven't been able to see mine often but I still text/email to see how people are. Never, have I actually ditched my friends to be with my partner and that is something I will never do. If I have made plans with friends unless there is an emergency I will go! That applies also to my partner, I always try and support him with everything he does but, as we all know, it isn't always possible.
I think my biggest crime against 'The Sisterhood' are the women who cheat with a man who is in a relationship. If you are one of these people, how dare you? Who do you think you are that you can wreck someone else's relationship through your selfish lust? There is no excuse. If the guy hits on you whilst he is with someone else then surely that tells you something pretty obvious? He's a player and not worth your time. He may promise that he will leave the other girl for you and maybe he will, but who's to say he isn't doing exactly the same thing to you? There is no way you can begin a new relationship with a cheating man, there can't be any trust there. Looking over your shoulder and checking up on what he's doing just in case he is doing the same thing to you. Heartbreaking to say the least. It's one thing I cannot stand and I am sure most would agree. Love is hard enough to come by without making yourself look cheap and easy in the process. I know we all make mistakes but sometimes some are bigger than others and we need to learn from them.
For the sake of 'The Sisterhood' please don't be selfish and remember that us girls are all in it together! We understand ourselves, unlike men! Stand together and be proud to be a woman.
I don't pretend to be someone I'm not, especially not nowadays but sometimes I really wonder whether I'm good enough. Living here surrounded by skanky women with no dignity makes me question if this is something I should be doing to get attention? Luckily I am in a very happy relationship with a wonderful man but sometimes I do wonder if I deserve it.
Looking around on a night out in this town you begin to notice all the little tarts that have crawled from their pits. Ugh. Some are hilarious because they just look so bad but some look like the type of girls you'd find in a lads magazine. For me, there isn't anything worse than trying to fit the 'ideal' that a magazine may portray. I love the fact I'm tall, a little quirky and have big hair. I'd hate to look like a plastic doll like everyone else. I don't need big tits to make an impression.
I was out the other night and two 'dolls' came in. They were hilarious 1) Because they couldn't use their camera but 2)because they couldn't walk in their heels. If you can't walk in them all night, don't wear them at all. These girls were all dressed up, lots of make up with immaculate hair. I was lucky enough to be called over to them. Me? With my big, back-combed hair, brogue type shoes and quirky dress? I must look like a photography student or something. As I got closer I was hoping I'd be surprised with a very well spoken, intelligent and interesting conversation; I wasn't. It consisted of 'babes can you take a photo of us, but make sure it's like full length so peeps can see our outfits.' -hmmm- Now, being a club photographer I'm used to it but this was far too good. I know how to adapt to people and how they are to make them feel comfortable, in this situation I didn't. 'Sure dude, do you want the flash on?' -hmm- After a photo the girl couldn't establish whether the camera had actually flashed. (Face palm) Surely you could see?! I told her it wasn't turned on and explained how to but unfortunately she didn't believe me.
The moral of this story is never to judge, which I admit, I did at first. I saw them and uttered Barbie, then decided to give the benefit of the doubt, only to be unsurprisingly proved right the first time. If women are going to act like this and become some cult like organisation of plastic, unoriginal people, then I want nothing to do with it. There will always be lots of girls like that but then everyone I know has personality and uniqueness. I love them all.
So maybe I shouldn't be jealous of other people for all fitting in to a mould. I should embrace my life and be proud of who I am. After all, if I'm with a guy who decides to leave me for some other tart then I know I'm the better one. I didn't change.
Love x
P.S I'd like to point out I know full well that my partner would never cheat on me! He, unlike some, has standards ;)
