Happy New Year! Or not...

 I love New Year. For me it's the perfect time to re try and be the person I've always wanted to be.
 After reading some of the moans on Twitter, of people hating NYE and the concept of resolutions, I really couldn't believe it. I genuinely thought NYE was a time every one enjoyed, clearly I was drastically wrong!The main thing that bugged me was how people said that others who say that '2012 is my year' are just fools and will give up after a couple of days. What's wrong with a bit of hope? Why has every one become this moaning and miserable generation, who can't see any joy in anything? It baffles me to think that I am one of the few people who look forward to a new start. I don't see that it has to happen just at the beginning of the year but it's more of an incentive, as you have a new year and a new start. It could almost be like a re-birth, starting again, trying to be the best you could be.

I won't be limited and bogged down with putting other people, (who want to make a change), down. There really is no need for it and there's definitely no need to insult people who think like that. It's hard to say that everyone's perfect, as that is impossible. Yet, surely it's a good thing that some of us want to change and want to do our best. I have so many new resolutions and I know I won't achieve all of them but there's no harm in dreaming.

My resolutions, for this new year coming up, are:

• Lose weight
• Cut down my alcohol intake
• Be less aggressive
• Go back to college
• Sort my head out

  They're fairly simple and quite standard resolutions but for me they will all be life changing. I have finally found something that I can imagine doing for the rest of my life. I have found myself a career I really want to pursue and I really think I have a great shot at making it work. I want my own business so I am going to be getting all the training I possibly can.  I want to lose weight and cut down how much alcohol I drink, purely for health reasons. I have become a bit of a bloater and it's starting to get me down, (a lot). I think this might also be contributing to sorting my head out. I know diet has a massive importance with mental well being, so who knows, maybe I could be normal by the end of the year? I say normal very loosely, I know what's wrong with me and I know I need to do something about it. But it's not to talk about here. Being less aggressive comes with the sorting my head out. I find I'm getting so angry and fed up so quickly, but yet again, there is a reason.

 NYE can be pretty plop sometimes, especially when you're alone. Celebrating a new year alone is probably one of the worst things. Last year I was alone for the evening then with someone for 20 minutes then alone again. Because of this I got massively drunk and danced around my lounge all on my own. How tragic? Yes, completely. It made me realise though that I can be on my own and I don't need anyone else, albeit very, very sad!

Not only are my resolutions fairly standard, they are also achievable. So to all those who think resolutions and  New Year is a waste of time, you are entitled to an opinion, but please don't try and drag others down, just because we want to make a difference.

Hello?

Does anyone notice me? Know I'm here or care?

Red card to racism

Unbelievable.

  Now, I'm not a football fan, in fact, I don't really follow any type of sport, apart from the occasional glance at the Olympics when it's on. However, one news story that caught my attention was the Luis Suarez story. If you haven't heard it then please find it and give it a read. 

  This taken from the BBC Sport site is loosely what has happened:

'Suarez was handed an eight-game ban and £40,000 fine after he used "insulting words in reference to Manchester United defender Evra's colour".'

  

   I don't know whether the allegations made are true but if they are how are these the only actions being taken against Suarez? It is absolutely irrelevant who it is that has made these type of remarks, being that it could have been another football player or even someone participating in another sport. Yet, how is this a justified punishment if someone is 'guilty' of this? This is meant to be one of the 'hardest sanctions handed down in English Football' according to Alejandro Balbi, Luis Suarez' agent.

  It has been stated that Suarez earns £80,000 a week, so how does £40,000 make any difference to him, really? If this was any other situation for example, in an office environment, you could either be given a warning, or if said allegations proved to be true; fired.

  If people are so keen to stop racism in football why are those that commit these 'crimes' made a show of and completely removed from the game. Yet, surely that wouldn't happen it's all money after all.

Achievement

  
  It's a wonderful feeling knowing you've achieved. No matter how big or small it may be; getting good grades, getting a new job or helping someone out. Everything counts in the end, all the little things add up to making you feel good and that's really important.


  I've achieved lots in my life, when I look back, but this year feels like I've done the most. I got rid of two jobs that were making me miserable (and am very close to getting a new one), I made new friends (and kept them), I stopped being a social recluse, I got rid of 'rubbish' friends and I held down a relationship (not that I'm some kind of hussy!)


  I have become more liberated over this last year than I ever thought possible for me. I am in the longest relationship I've ever been in, with talks of marriage and our own home! This is ever so exciting for little, old me, considering I am very traditional deep down! I've met some superb people who have really turned my world around. I have found people I have shared interests with and who are just generally beautiful. After getting rid of the leeches that I once called 'friends' I've suddenly found that I was stuck in a rut with people who really didn't care about me. I am meeting people of all ages who are genuinely some of the greatest people I've ever spent time with.

  It may seem like some days you haven't achieved anything but really you have without even realising it. It could have been something you said to someone that made them smile or just the fact you put the washing on. Achievement doesn't have to be bold but if it can give you the drive to continue achieving then it's all good! 


  So, get up! Get out! And start changing your world!

Photogenic reject

  Sadly, I wasn't blessed with the face of a goddess, or the body, come to think of it. I've got my wobbly bits and other hang ups but generally, I think I can scrub up well; until I am in front of a camera. 
  
  What is it with the flash of the bulb that suddenly turns me in to a quivering wreck? I end up pulling God awful faces and my body looks contorted! Some people are just natural in front of a camera, I am more like some self-conscious, genetic throw back that has appeared from the depths. It isn't pretty, trust me.
  
  I went for the photo shoot with my partner and needless to say I actually enjoyed it. Our photographer, Jane, put me at ease instantly. Making me laugh and showing me how to take the best photos. It was fun which was the most surprising part of it all. I didn't feel nervous, I began to almost pose. ("Head down, eyes up. Show me the whites of your eyes Hannah!") A week later we were invited to a little pre-Christmas shindig at her studio and seeing as there was free wine and mince pies, we had to go! After a few glasses of vino we decided to look at the photos that were taken. Oh my God. It is very apparent that I will never get on Britain's Top Model! Some were truly atrocious yet others were lovely. My partner and I sitting back to back and turning to one other, smiling was my favourites, whereas, one of my 'serious' shots looked like I was about to go on some murderous rampage. 


  A photo is a memory. If you were happy and enjoying yourself, who cares what you look like? After all, you only live once.